


The Case of the Serial Cuddler

by Squid_Ink



Series: Virtue and Vice [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: "betrayal", Cuddles, Happy AU, Hashirama gets really upset when Madara misses family poker night, M/M, Silly, Since VotE did happen, Sorta actually, The Uchiha-Senju Household has a family poker night, Though Hashirama still stabbed Madara, Utter Nonsense, but it's microscopically subtle, it just had a happy outcome, serial cuddling, there is TobiMito
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 18:58:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squid_Ink/pseuds/Squid_Ink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a crime spree going on in Konoha. Someone has been breaking into people houses and... cuddling them! Hashirama suspects it's his lover, Madara, but he can't prove it. So he confronts Madara one night when Madara comes home late, missing family poker night!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Case of the Serial Cuddler

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



Hashirama looked up when the door creaked open. It was pass midnight and Madara had yet to return. Hashirama had tucked Akira and Takumi into bed before making a pot of tea and standing vigil until his life-partner returned.

It was one am when Madara finally opened that squeaky door. He didn't jump when he noticed that Hashirama was sitting there at the dining table, in a horrid egg yolk yellow bathrobe, (it was once fluffy but now not so much), and duck foot orange slippers with mismatched socks. Hashirama had braided his hair. "You're back late," Hashirama said in a cool voice. He took a sip of tea.

Madara frowned. "I told you before I left I'd be back late."

"I assumed you would be back, and if you were back at all it would be 'late'," Hashirama said in a sarcastic tone (air quotes included), he glowered at his lover. Madara shifted uncomfortably beneath that gaze.

"What do you want Hashirama?" Madara asked.

"Where have you been?"

"It's none of your business," Madara growled.

"I think it is my business when you miss family poker night," Hashirama stood up and walked over to Madara. In the light he notice a single strain of bright red hair, the color of embers, on Madara's shoulder. He picked it up and held it before his lover's eyes. "Care to explain this?" he asked.

Madara adverted his eyes. "It's nothing… alright."

"Nothing?" Hashirama gasped, flicking the incriminating piece of hair away. "It was not nothing! You've been at it again!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Madara snapped. "I haven't been doing anything so… loathsome!"

"Lair!" Hashirama seethed. "You've been doing it with Mito! Behind me back!" he took a step away from Madara. "You wound me Madara. You cut me deep."

Madara snorted. "Like you haven't done the same to me?" His hand twitched, Hashirama knew he was resisting the urge to rub the scar on his left breast.

"It's not the same as stabbing someone," Hashirama spat.

"You stabbed me in the back!"

"That doesn't mean you can return the favor!" Hashirama shouted. He stalked over to the table where his tea was. He picked up the mug, cradling it in his hands. "All these years… I was the only one you ever did that with, and now…  _now_  I find out you'll do it with anyone!"

"Mito is hardly anyone," Madara snorted.

"Ah-ha! So you admit it!" Hashirama said, pointing an accusing finger at his Uchiha lover. Madara scowled.

"I admit nothing," Madara said, "I'm just stating a fact."

"You're clever guile won't help you here, Uchiha Madara! Come clean and I may let you back into my bed!" Hashirama said, and lifted his chin just slightly. Madara rolled his eyes.

"You and I both know you'll never to keep that promise. You'll miss me too much," Madara said and gave the Senju a wicked good smirk. Hashirama felt his cheeks heat up and his loins stir, but swiftly squashed any feelings of lust and desire.

"You betrayed me, Uchiha Madara," he said, his voice deep and soft. "Betrayed our love."

Madara rolled his eyes. "You know what Hashirama, forget this. I'm going to bed," he said and walked passed the Senju. Hashirama sputtered in disbelief.

"Madara! Madara! Get back here! You have to stop this! This…  _serial cuddling_! You can't let it get out of hand!"

"Good night, Hashirama!" Madara shouted from the hallway.

"Madara! Be quite, you'll wake up the boys!" Hashirama shouted back, running after the Uchiha.

* * *

 

Tobirama was sitting up in bed, feeling very cold and clammy. He could've sworn someone was in bed with him a moment ago, with their arms around him and snuggled up against him. Almost as if they were…  _cuddling_  him. There was that familiar scent of woodsmoke and blood clinging to his spare pillow. Tobirama's eyes narrowed for there was only one person in all of Konohagakure that had that scent.

Uchiha Madara.

"So he's the serial cuddler," Tobirama growled. Already he was constructing a plan to make the Uchiha pay dealer for his crime against bedtime and the every-so-important personal bubble.  _Oh yes_ , Tobirama nodded.  _Uchiha Madara will pay dearly indeed_.

**Author's Note:**

> Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto
> 
> I blame my friend Rogue_Angle for this. This is entirely her fault for using the words "serial cuddling" together. For I got the image of Madara sneaking off and entering random peoples' houses to cuddle with them. Since a serial killer goes around killing random people. Muwhahahaha!
> 
> It's utterly silly. And for those who are wondering, Mito's hair was on Tobirama's pillow, implying that Tobirama and Mito have a thing. Enjoy the nonsense!
> 
> Save an author; leave a review!


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